“The trauma from infidelity doesn’t have to define the rest of your life. These wounds can heal, and from this broken place, long-awaited change can finally happen.”
-Dr. Talal Alsaleem, PsyD, LMFT
Healing after infidelity is vital for emotional and relational well-being. Often couples try this work at home, and that course usually leads to bigger fights and more brokenness. Getting the help of a professional is necessary because there are certain steps you need to go through, and you’ll need a safe place to do it.
What are the goals of affair recovery therapy?
â–ª The main goal of infidelity counseling is to process the trauma of the affair, which entails the opportunity to understand what happened, why it happened, and where to go from here.
â–ª Healing from infidelity doesn’t mean repairing the relationship. It means healing from the trauma.
â–ª Infidelity is a need-driven behavior. To change, we must uncover the underlying need driving the act.
â–ª Without the true narrative of the affair, healing cannot take place.
â–ª Help you and your partner discuss what you are both going through with your friends and family and learn how to teach them what supporting you both looks like.
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What will it look like and what are the milestones for healing?
â–ª Setting the stage for healing
â–ª Getting the story
â–ª Acknowledging the Impact
â–ª Choosing a Path
â–ª Creating a Plan of Action
â–ª Implementation and Healing Pains
â–ª Sustainability/ Maintenance
Knowing infidelity is a need driven behavior does not excuse the act but will help you understand why, and how it happened. From that common ground you and your partner will be better positioned to heal and then determine how to move forward. Despite the intense pain, guilt, and shame that infidelity causes, many couples are able to rebuild their relationship stronger than it ever was before. The healing process is painful and takes time but I’m confident it’s worth the investment. If you and/or your partner have experienced trauma from infidelity and need help navigating where to go from here or what to expect please do not hesitate to reach out.
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