Drs. John and Julie Gottman emphasize that intimacy and connection are built through small, everyday interactions that foster trust, emotional safety, and affection. Their research shows that strong relationships are not just about grand romantic gestures but about consistently "turning toward" each other in daily life.

Key aspects of intimacy and connection according to the Gottmans include:

1. Building Love Maps – Knowing your partner’s inner world, including their dreams, fears, and experiences, creates deeper emotional intimacy.

2. Bids for Connection – Partners constantly make small attempts to connect (e.g., a smile, a question, or a touch). The strength of a relationship depends on how often these bids are acknowledged and responded to.

3. Fondness and Admiration – Expressing appreciation, respect, and affection regularly reinforces emotional closeness.

4. Turning Conflict into Connection – Conflict is inevitable, but handling it with kindness, curiosity, and compromise strengthens intimacy instead of eroding it.

5. Creating Shared Meaning – Couples who cultivate shared goals, rituals, and values experience deeper connection and long-term fulfillment.

According to the Gottmans, intimacy is not just about physical closeness but also emotional availability, trust, and the daily choices partners make to show up for each other.