When the Holidays Feel Heavy on Your Wallet (and Your Spirit)

I don't know about you, but for a long time, I felt like there's this unspoken rule that we're supposed to make the holidays magical for everyone around us - our kids, our parents, our partners, our communities. Not realizing how we may have inherited that pressure. From watching mommy and granny stretch dollars until they snapped, dads working overtime to make something happen, to show up no matter what. And the media pushing what the holidays should look like certainly doesn't help.

So now when it's our turn, we find ourselves doing the same. No matter if we're running on empty or even when the account is running low. 

But holding that tension carries a cost.

It shows up in your body. You know, the tension in your shoulders, the knot in your stomach when you check your bank balance, and it shows up in your mood -  the irritability, the exhaustion, the feeling like you're just getting through instead of being present.

Financial stress really isn't just about money. It's about everything money touches: your sense of security, your relationships, and your peace of mind.

So, what if you gave yourself permission to do it differently?

Don't freak out! I'm not talking about skipping the holidays or disappointing everyone. I'm talking about small shifts that protect your peace and your wallet.

First, get honest about what you actually have. Not what you wish you had, not what you had last year, but what's real right now. That's your starting point, and there's no shame in it.

Next, separate the "have to's" from the "should's." A lot of holiday spending comes from guilt, and not joy. Ask yourself: Am I doing this because I want to, or because I'm afraid of what people will think if I don't?

Talk to the people who matter. You might be surprised. Sometimes the people we're stretching ourselves thin for would rather have you rested and present than getting another gift they don't need.

Build in some breathing room. If your budget is tight, leave a little margin for the unexpected instead of spending every dollar on your holiday list. That cushion is a gift to yourself.

Remember: presence over presents. I know it sounds cliché, but it's true. The moments people remember aren't usually about what was under the tree, but about how they felt when they were with you.

A note about the guilt

If you're reading this and feeling guilty,  like you should be able to do more, give more, be more, I want you to hear this:

You are not failing.

You are doing the best you can with what you have. And honestly, your worth isn't measured by what you can buy or a price tag.

The people who truly love you? They get that.

However you're moving through this season, whether stretched thin or standing steady, I hope you find a moment to breathe. You deserve that too.

With warmth,

Shima B., LMSW

Psychotherapist & Financial Wellness Coordinator @ Cardinal Counseling Group